My Spiritual Journey: The Mysteries Unfold at My Boyfriend's Family Home (Part 3)
A Journey of Transformation: Chapter Two of My Spiritual Awakening
After experiencing the signs from my brother, which I shared in my last blog, I want to take you into the next chapter of my spiritual awakening. This phase unfolded in my boyfriend's family home, a place that became a portal for some of the most intense spiritual experiences of my life. His parents had moved to New York, leaving us to live there, but little did I know, the home itself would become a testing ground for my faith and sanity.
It all began with a dream—a dream so vivid that I couldn’t shake the eerie accuracy of it. I dreamed that a U-Haul truck pulled up to the house, and my mom and her friend were helping my boyfriend’s little brother move in. At the time, it felt so random, but as soon as I woke up, I told my boyfriend about it. Not even 30 minutes later, he received a text from his little brother asking if he could come back to the house and live with us. His brother had moved to New York like his parents, so this was unexpected. I was stunned. I even asked my boyfriend if he had mentioned my dream to his brother, but then I realized that wouldn’t make sense. He wasn’t particularly close to his brother, so there was no reason for him to have brought it up. The accuracy of the dream shook me. How could I have known?
When his brother did eventually move in, things got challenging, and it turned into a test for my relationship, but that’s a story for another time. What I want to focus on here is a strange series of physical sensations that began not long after he moved in—something that would push me to the edge of understanding.
One day, I was standing in front of the mirror in our bedroom, doing my hair. It was one of those basic mirrors you get from Family Dollar or Walmart. Out of nowhere, a strange feeling came over me—an intense warmth and buzzing sensation in my stomach. It was so overwhelming that I let out a loud groan. It felt as if someone had turned up a heat lamp inside me, and then just as quickly, the sensation vanished. I was left confused and scared. It didn’t hurt, but it was so unfamiliar that it alarmed me.
That moment was just the beginning. The sensation started happening more frequently, and at first, I thought it might be related to my marijuana use. I had been smoking weed since I was 11, and I had a high tolerance, so I wasn’t used to feeling strange after smoking. But every time I smoked, I would get that warm, buzzing sensation again. I couldn’t handle it—it would drive me to panic, and I would literally run out of the room, sometimes even out of the house, trying to escape the feeling. It didn’t make sense to me. I had been a stoner for so long, and suddenly, smoking was triggering these intense experiences. Eventually, I had to quit smoking altogether.
But it wasn’t just the weed. I started getting that same sensation whenever my boyfriend and I would read the Bible together. We had recently begun exploring our Hebrew Israelite roots, and studying the Bible was something we did regularly. However, every time we’d open the book, that feeling would hit me, and I’d have to jump up and leave. It was heartbreaking because I loved reading the Bible, but now it was causing me this inexplicable anxiety. The last time we read together, my boyfriend was reading the passage where it says, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?” As soon as he said those words, I dropped to the floor and had a vision. I saw people running through a forest at night, in a line. When I came out of it, I felt like I was being lifted out of my body, and without thinking, I cried out, “No, God, please! I want to be human; don’t take me!”
I didn’t even know why I said that or who exactly I was speaking to. It was as if something inside me took over. My boyfriend helped me up, and as he did, I felt a beam of energy shoot from my forehead and his at the same time. Before I could say anything, he told me he had felt it too. It was the kind of thing we could only understand through each other’s eyes because no one else would believe us.
Another time, I remember walking down the hallway and seeing myself and my boyfriend from an elevated, third-person perspective, as if I were above us watching. When it was over, he told me he had experienced the same thing. These events kept piling up, one after another, and I started feeling like I was losing touch with reality.
It got to the point where I couldn’t even watch movies anymore. Films like Moana or The Lion King triggered the same sensations, and one day, while watching The Lion King, the faces of the lions on the screen terrified me so much that I ran through the living room, which looked like it was filled with smoke. Even my dog, who had always been fiercely protective, was scared. He ran to the edge of the street and just stood there staring at me. This was so unusual for him—he never disobeyed me, and he never ran that far.
As I stood at the door, trying to figure out what was happening, I whispered, “God, if the devil is in this house, please make him leave.” As soon as I said that, it felt like something physically pushed me out of the door. I couldn’t believe it. Somehow, I managed to bring my dog back inside, but I was left with more questions than answers.
The last major event in this chapter of my journey happened when my boyfriend went to the store to buy some wine. I was sitting on the porch, and the sound of birds in the tree nearby became deafening. That familiar warm, buzzing feeling returned, and I was overwhelmed with fear. This time, instead of running away, I grabbed the porch ledge and said, “No, God, if you want to talk to me, then talk to me. I’m not running anymore.” The sky immediately grew dark, except for a single hole in the clouds where light shone through. Just then, my boyfriend came riding down the street, and the light seemed to follow him, but I couldn’t see his face.
In that moment, for reasons I still don’t fully understand, I said, “I will follow this wherever you send him.” Not long after, we moved to Israel, where our journey took us through encounters with both angels and demons. We were scammed, robbed, and faced more challenges than I could have ever imagined, but we kept moving forward, guided by something greater than ourselves.
That chapter of the story is one I’ll share in a future blog. For now, I want to leave you with this: every moment in our spiritual journey, no matter how strange or frightening, has a purpose. It’s up to us to face it, to embrace the lessons, and to keep moving forward, no matter where the path leads.
Embracing the Journey
As I reflect on these experiences, I realize how crucial it is to remain open to the mysteries of life. Our spiritual journeys can often be chaotic and confusing, but they are also filled with moments of clarity and growth. Each sensation, each vision, and each encounter is a stepping stone toward deeper understanding.
I encourage anyone who is reading this to trust their intuition, even when it feels overwhelming. The universe often communicates with us in unexpected ways, and being receptive to these messages can lead us to profound revelations. Embrace the strange and the uncanny, for it is often in those moments that we discover our true selves.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. Stay tuned for more insights as I continue to navigate my spiritual path and share the lessons learned along the way.
